Bella's Change
by anonymous-affiliate
Summary: Closing his eyes, Edward remembered her face. Her smile, her adorable blush. Opening them, he winced looking down at bella's lifeless form. Jacob was right, said that little voice in his head. She'd have been better off with him. "Kill me." he whispered.
1. Chapter 1

Bella's Change

Crystal Tomaras

Disclaimer: Only in my dreams, do I own anything by Stephanie Meyer.

**So. This is the preview to the first chapter. The next chapter will start off where this one left off. I think im doing ok beta-ing myself but anyone who interested please left me know.**

Closing my eyes I remembered her face. Her smile that adorable blush she got. Opening them I looked down at the corpse in front of me. Looked at bellas lifeless form laying in front of me. _Jacob was right_, said that little voice in my head. _She would have been better off with him and you know it._

I looked at her passive face and lowered my gaze to look at the rest of her body, visible cringing as I did so. Bruised, broken, it lay on my couch looking utterly battered and somehow stronger for it in some odd way. _They were all wrong. Even Carlisle._ Edward felt the venom-tears run down him face. They thought changing her would only make her immortal, that she would stay the same afterward. They didn't realize what would happen. That she was so unique, she had become something that had never existed before. Her heart still beat. Her skin was still warm. And her hair, still held that sweet, sweet smell.

He knelt down and buried his face in her hair before anyone could stop him. She was faster than any creature of the forest, and even faster then Edward. She was more graceful than Alice, and stronger than Emmett. And this was after the newborn super-strength had worn off. She had stayed the same in many ways. She still liked all the same things. But now she was confident. So very sure of herself.

These thoughts had passed through Edwards mind in a split second. He hadn't even realized that Jacob had dove at him when he had buried his face in her hair. Blinking up at Jacob who was pinning him down, he whispered brokenly, "Kill me. I deserve it. I killed her."

**Next update should be later today actually.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Kill me. I deserve it. I killed her." Edward looked pleadingly up at Jacob who had stopped shaking as soon as those words ripped themselves from his mouth. He sent his thought out to Edward. It was easier than speaking. _You didn't kill her. You loved her, and did what you could to protect her. That said, you should have left her to me. I wont kill you. You'll have to live with this forever. _

Edward was suddenly angry. Picking Jacob up by his shirt, Edward held him off the ground "I said it's my fault!" Edward roared. "I broke the treaty to change her! I killed her! The punishment for that was death! I said kill me…because I don't deserve to live without her…I can't…" what had started as a ferocious roar, and quieted into a broken sob at the end. Venom-tears ran down his face as he set Jacob down and fell to his knees. Bowing his head, he knelt there, feeling an emptiness in himself that he had never felt before, not even when he left her. At that moment he knew his mind had just shattered with the weight of his regret and guilt.

Looking around him he saw his family. Carlisle, who looking helpless. He had been able to do nothing to help. Alice who could not see what Bella's fate was, because Any decision we made did not change her condition. Rosalie, who had put Bella's head in her lap and was stroking her hair. Emmett who was so upset that he was pacing a hole in the floor. Esme, stood stoke still in the corner looking like a forlorn statue. And finally Jasper, who felt just as guilty as the rest, but was struggling to remain quiet as our emotions pressed down on him as well. He refused to leave, as did the wolves. Jacob, Sam, Quil, the whole pack was there. Standing on the other side of the room remaining respectfully quiet the entire time they had been there.

Suddenly he tried desperately to read Bella's mind. Surely the state she's in now would leave her mind unprotected…He could feel something, but it was too far away. Taking an unnecessary breath he put one hand on either side of her head and concentrated. In a split second he had a memory playing over and over in his head.

The only person she was thinking about, the only memory she was thinking of, was of her and Jacob. Together. Jacob had her pushed against the wall and was kissing her hard as though he would never stop. She had her hands in his hair kissing him with everything she had, gasping in surprise as he kissed his way down her neck and then back up to her lips.

Suddenly Bella's voice rang out in his head. "_Run forever_," it whispered. Harsher than he had ever heard it, angrier than he knew she could be. "_Run away and never come back! It's the least you can do after stealing my life this way! What would I possibly see in you, a monster, when I could have him!_"

That was all it took and he was running. He ran so fast he couldn't see what he was passing. The colors blurred and he stopped thinking. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Suddenly he stopped. He looked at his surrounding…a desert. That's what this place is called he told himself. How did I get here? Where was I? _Who_ was I?


	3. Chapter 3

"I cant see him!" Alice cried. "I cant see what he's going to do. Its like I cant see because he isn't making a decision. Like he's not thinking about it at all."

Her eyes were wide. "He blocked us all out of his mind. He's lost it!" Alice began babbling incoherently to herself, pacing back and forth.

"The last thing he had decided was to run forever and now he doesn't have that decision made anymore. It like he remembers nothing. He might as well not exist!" Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie all stared at her.

Carlisle bowed his head. "It's possible that his mind, so close to that of an average, fragile, humans mind, has created a protective barrier of sorts. So that he would no longer be reminded of what he has done wrong. He blocked everything…everything…" Carlisle muttered to himself more than the rest of them, repeating what Alice had said several times in the ensuing silence.

Esme's face showed the utmost remorse and sorrow for her son. Emmett glared at the floor. "Why?" he barked out unusually harsh.

Jasper gestured toward Bella's lifeless body on the couch when everyone turned to him. "She broke his heart." He explained, his voice cracking as though it was his own heart that had been broken.

"How?" growled Emmett, pacing ferociously. Everyone turned to Alice. If anyone knew why this had happened it would be her.

"Bella…she…and Jacob…they kissed. Edward saw that that memory was her last thought." Alice muttered all this toward the floor.

Rosalie, of everyone in the room, had the most shame rolling over her. "When?" Emmett asked, no longer pacing.

"This is none of our business!" Esme spoke with authority. "Bella may go what she wishes with who she wishes, especially what the enquirers are the ones who left her in the first place."

"You were supposed to watch her!" screamed Alice sobbing.

"I did!" No harm came to her while I watched over her. I will not keep her from someone or something who kept her so happy when we left her! When we broke her very soul!" Esme had lost her cool doing this straining not to yell right back at her daughter, but Emmett's retort severed Esme's fragile restraint.

"You let her ride a motorcycle! You let her jump off of a cliff!" Emmett was growling angrily again.

"And I saved her both times! I led Jacob to her, told him how to take care of her!" Esme yelled, throwing restraint all to hell. "I would not let anything happen to any of my daughters!"

Composing themselves, they turned to Alice. "Keep an eye on Edward let us know if anything changes. Jasper you're coming with me. His trail is already getting cold, lets find him. Carlisle, we can find him, but I have no idea what to say, and I need your help with this. Esme, Rosalie, stay with Alice and get things ready. He may have forgotten control. We could be dealing with a newborn state of mind."

Emmett spoke quickly, shedding un-necessary articles of clothing so he was standing in only his boxers.

"I wonder…" muttered Carlisle. Everyone paused to look at him. "Maybe he's forgotten hunger…" Absolute silence and stillness took over as they thought about what this would mean for their race, their carefully built, desperately fragile world. A flurry of movement and Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper were all standing in boxers, briefs and shorts. A gust of wind later…they were gone.

Oh my god I'm so sorry for not updating! So…next chapter: I'm putting it up to a vote.

1) A quick paragraph now, or

2) A wait and a full chapter later.

Plus I'm still not sure how Bella died. I'm considering putting that up to vote too. So.

P.S. I'm thinking either Edward or Jasper, and totally on accident…

Feedback please!!!


End file.
